Writting From the Past

I came across a piece of writing I typed up after I graduated college. It is interesting to be able to look through a window into my past. I am posting it as a message. Life gets better I promise. I think everyone feels a bit of shell shock after they graduate college. Enjoy

It didn’t end with a zip or a bang or a huge drunken party.  There wasn’t even a scene like those of a movie where a bunch of friends are sitting at a bar giving endless toasts to the past adventures of the last four years.  Nothing said about the future and how bright it may be.  It ended with a snap like that of a pull firework or the fizzle of a cheap sparkler.  There was supposed to be cheers and jeers, laughter and tears.  There was none of that here.  It ended end when uncharacteristically the Dean of Students pronounced my name correctly, a dead meaningless handshake and an empty congenial nod.  For others it ended with the words with honors preceding their name.  For many that will be the last time an adjective will precede their name. With honors or without, going to be bed early the night before graduation or getting half-cocked it’s all one in the same.  It marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new day.  Your agenda is empty.  For some it ended with impossible promises like I’ll see you again and we’ll definitely stay in touch.  With others it occurred over a phone conversation in a vacant hotel room, a plea to move to DC or a great new job in Omaha.  This is life, the next step, right.  At times I feel like a Vietnam Vet who can’t get over the fact the war is over.  I spent four years of my life being sprayed with napalm, thinking that 10 was the start of the day and sure enough that a hangover was enough to garner one’s sympathy.  I was living in a foxhole of college bliss and now I’ve been thrown back into the working world. I am expected to be humble and shrug it off.  I’ve been robbed of my youth and everyone expects me to help the burglar named time load up his get away vehicle.  All I have left are memories that serve me well.  They allow me to easily forget about the things I have regretted over the last four years. The mind is a curious thing.  It alters things.  Not intentionally but just enough to allow us to get by.