Mall Kiosks: Glorified Street Performers

I was at the mall the other day for the first time in a long while. As mentioned in earlier posts, I abhor the mall. Before the recession set in, I could tolerate it. I dressed a little grubbier and would avoid shaving a couple days before I planned to go. This would ensure me the glory of being left alone at the mall. I could get in and get out with minimal questions. These days the mall is emptier and businesses are so desperate for customers that I bet I could walk around completely naked and still have sales people trying to drum up a conversation.

The part I despise most about the mall are those little kiosks. If a mall were a city street, where the shops represented free standing stores and the mall commons were the city streets, kiosks would represent the street performers. They are aggressive, conversational and incredibly annoying as they hock cell phones, moisturizer and sunglasses. I wonder if they are paid differently then the standard mall shop employee. I can go into a store and not be bothered but walk outside and I am swarmed by sales people armed with cucumber exfoliates and free texting. It is to the point where I would rather just shop on the city streets where ignoring the street performers is sufficient. If I ignore a kiosk vendor they are liable to chase me down or yell louder. Now that would be a site, imagine someone running after you in a mall full sprint to tell you that you are paying too much for your current cell phone plan. The next time I am asked something by a kiosk vendor I am tempted to say to them, "learn to play an instrument or bang on some empty milk jugs." At least the street performers in the city briefly entertain me as I ignore them.